Lately I have been feeling really lost about what I should be doing during the limited free time I have at the moment. Some may say sleep, and others are probably thinking I'm crazy because I'm sure they could think of a million things they would love to do with some free time. But that's just me. I am a career- minded- working girl who is now at home. It's a change. It's different. Don't get me wrong, I love being at home, I love being a mum, but I have been feeling a little lost in it all lately.
I am someone who has always been an *average* achiever. I watched all of my intelligent friends get amazing grades in school and at uni. They were so dedicated. I did the work, I studied, I passed. I got the degree...although I also procrastinated! lol. I have also, never really finished a lot of things. Well, I don't know if *finished* is the right word. For example, I started learning instruments and gave up pretty quickly...lol. I am not someone with an abounding natural talent in any particular area. I wasn't super at any one subject at school. I don't know how I got through university sometimes. I think it was pure hard work. I have to practise things over and over and over.
Right now I have to decide what it is I want to pursue. Because in this digital age, I am resorting to the computer. Sure, I find blog after blog, photographer after photographer and things to drool over and be inspired by, but do I really want to be on the computer in my free time? Not really. Surfing the net. It's such a time waster. I learn a lot sometimes though.and other times I get lost in the abundance of information you can access.
One day I hope I have enough readers and we can discuss it together. I think it's awesome to gain support. And like another fellow blogger wrote, there is no reason to use blogs as another medium to compare ourselves to others! See here for what she wrote about blogging and depression/ negativity. I can see how people may get down, but I think this is another reason why I want this to be a happy place!
So, I am still working on it, but I am looking into what hobbies or talents I can develop further, or what adventures I can have while being a mum. I'm looking forward to when I can decide on something. But for now, confusion reigns.
So funnily enough, now I have written this I feel like I can go to bed. And if it makes no sense to anyone other than me I don't mind because my head is clearer. *midnight! Oh so sleepy.
Night
Shayla
xo
shayla,
ReplyDeletei always thought you were fabulous and was always happy being in group assignments with you at uni! (i dreaded being in groups with some people...)
i love looking at your photos! they are so beautiful!
ive never realy been talanted myself - i tried alot of things and gave up on all of them because i was never good enough! currently i feel like all i do with life is work... and stress stress stress because of work!
i get clucky sometimes and see sooooo many cute things in the shops and just want to buy everything and keep it in a box until i have a baby... however i am always tired and sleep the weekends away and dont think i would be able to cope with a baby atm!
have faith in yourself - you will find your calling and you alradyhave so many talents :)
sarah ninness